I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
