I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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