well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
