and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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