it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
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If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
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Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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