I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
