I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
