oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
