good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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