If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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