I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize