Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize