90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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