I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
