i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
