maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
