If that was your dad, he is hot
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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