dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
