It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Damn victory sex feels great
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
