Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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