Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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