adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
