That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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