oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
