I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
