if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
