sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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