You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
