so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
