the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
