they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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