you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
