just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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