Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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