so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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