I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
