At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
