i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
