yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
