Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
