You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
