omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize