how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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