xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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