I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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