My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
