We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
