Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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