Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
