It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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