He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
