Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
