Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
