We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
