Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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