We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
