I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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