where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
