Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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