Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize