By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
