i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
