I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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