just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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