These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
