Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
